Late Nights. Mornings too soon.

Hmmmmm. Never done one of these before. What should I start with? How about why I'm up right now.

This makes three late nights in a row. Not because of homework or a project, or even because of video games. That's three late nights because I don't want to go to sleep. Every night I crawl into bed and the same few thoughts come to mind. It's nothing I can really help. Looking at my sheets is enough to set it off. If I can shake it off and finally get to sleep. Things are amazing. In the late hours, it's perfect. Everything is up to me. If I want to fly, I fly. If I want to kill zombies, I kill zombies. Everything I could ever imagine is at my figertips. Sounds perfect, right? Only problem is, I can't sleep forever. Eventually (6:30 the past few days), this dream world comes crashing down. I wake up to a cold bed, hugging a pillow, wishing, hoping, praying that this is a dream too. That in a minute I'll snap out of it, back to a place where I can do whatever I want, be whoever I want.

The seconds tick down in this lonely minute and I realize I'm stuck with another day of the same. Another day grasping at the dreams that filled my mind the night before. Another day coming up short.

This is why I've been avoiding sleeping with a passion the last few nights, knowing that real life is not going to live up to everything I dream of, at least not today. At first, I couldn't figure out why I wouldn't want to sleep more, escape from the real world and give myself a chance at being happy, but then I realized, if I go to sleep, I have to wake up. I have to start this cycle once more. I want to break the chain, but right now, I have no idea how.

I have no idea what I'm looking to get out of this thing. I guess I want to aknowledge what's going on and get over it, but at the same time, I think I want to hear that I'm not the only one putting myself through this. Who knows, maybe I am? I guess I won't know until I put this out there.

But that was just a dream
Try, cry, why try?
That was just a dream
Just a dream, just a dream
Dream