FML

Shitty shitty shitty shitty shitty shitty shitty couple of weeks.

Passing out, broken nose, rugburned face, ripping pants, freezing off a nut, stabbed in the leg - three times, hours wasted figuring out what to do, dreaming about it every night, only to lose it the next day, being a complete dumbass in the process.

Gotta love my timing. Boring friday night. Wake up ten minutes too late. Finally get back to sleep, only to wake up at 6:30. Ah, valentine's is a lonely day, especially when you're up practically before the sun, but no one else is. Sleeping isn't even fun like it was before, or just a few days ago. No more lycan love, sailing a ship, chasing girls in Vdub busses (still can't explain this one), no more wishing I could fall asleep and get to these things. I've pulled a 180. Now I can't stay awake, and as soon as my head hits pillow, I'm off to a depressing night of my mind making fun of me.

Feels like the last twelve years, ten years, six years, three years just went down the drain.

I've been looking at this for half an hour now and I know there's more I want to say. Just not sure exactly what that is because I really don't know how I feel at the moment. Pain, longing, wishing, praying, and for some reason, hope. This last month has changed me, I don't know for better or worse, but maybe now I can go back to the way things were. They'll never be the same, but maybe enough to be happy and move on. That's a lie, I don't want to move on, I want this to happen. Knowing my timing, maybe it will in a year. Or ten.

And I'd give up forever to touch you, 
Cause I know that you feel me somehow.
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, 
And I don't want to go home right now.

And all I can taste is this moment, 
And all I can breathe is your life, 
And sooner or later it's over, 
I just don't want to miss you tonight.

And I don't want the world to see me, 
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken, 
I just want you to know who I am.