Overdue.

I still don't know where everything stands. I don't know the full story, and I'm not sure if i want to.  I honestly don't know how I feel about everything that's gone down. I'm not sure I ever really will.

Because I can't make up my god damned mind. About anything anymore. I don't know what I want. It used to be clear. Black and white. Clear as crystal.

It amazes me how little can develop over the course of years, and in two months everything is turned on its head.

I think a new door just opened in front of me, but I can't decide if I want to wager on the first showcase, or pass it up to see what's behind door number two. After everything, I'm reluctant to dive in head first again.

If there's one bright spot in all of this, it feels like burned bridges are being mended. I guess you don't realize how much you really value something until it's gone. 

We are 2/3 of the way through the year. I want to know how this story is going to end. As of now, it looks like I'm going away next year. I can't help but wonder how much things have and will change between now and then, what kind of terms I'll leave on, who I'll miss and who I'll turn away from and never look back.

I'm joining GSF, I've made up my mind
Forget this thing called love, it's a waste of time
Girls ain't no good anymore, anyway!
Not for one second have I understood
Why they do what they do, why they say what they say

Always happens to my friends, it always happens to me
It's taken me 19 years to finally see
She said "Can we just be friends?
It's just not working out."
Another broken heart that I can do without